A Spectrum of Hyperfixations
We all have things we are obsessed with, and I have taken to the mic to share about mine! From mental health matters to fandom, the spectrum of hyperfixations can be random and unrelated because you never know what may grab your attention and refuse to let go.
Being autistic, a hyperfixation for me can last for months or just a few days. But it's not just about me. I'll be having guests on periodically to "geek out" over what their hyperfixation is so we can celebrate and embrace the things we are passionate about in the absence of judgement. You just may learn something new along the way too!
A Spectrum of Hyperfixations
From Corporate Chaos to Spiritual Serenity
This episode touches on navigating personal challenges, financial uncertainty, and a newfound sense of faith. Tune in for highlights on the importance of community, resilience, and the transformative power of embracing change!
• Exploring the impact of life transitions on mental health
• Sharing personal experiences of financial anxiety and joy
• Recounting the journey from religious trauma to spiritual awakening
• Discussing the role of community and support during difficult times
• Emphasizing the significance of faith in overcoming adversity
• Announcing upcoming coaching opportunities and events
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Hello and welcome back to a brand new episode of A Spectrum of Hyperfixations. I am your host, miss T. Today, the T oh goodness, what do we want it to stand for? Time to get back into podcasting? How about that?
Speaker 1:So new year, it's been a while. Um, it's been a while. Let's just address that up front. Um, I kind of fell out of it after everything happening with my grandpa and the surprise trip to Colorado. I? Um was on a leave of absence from work at that time and then I just didn't go back.
Speaker 1:So well, let's just go in then to the cheers and jeers. So cheers is I am feeling pretty joyful. I'm going into this new year without a steady income, without a corporate job, without any sort of like financial security other than having cashed out my 401k that I can live off of for, you know, a few months, but I have felt so good and joyful and it's it's been really great for my mental health and, I just think, my health overall. So, jeers in turn is the lack of financial stability. Things are a bit scary. My credit cards, have you know, they went off the rails, and so I got in the mail this thing for, like Kansas residents, you could qualify for debt settlement or whatever, and so I went ahead and decided to go for that. I kind of do about debt settlement stuff from working in debt collections, but that was more medical, but they're supposed to, you know, act on my behalf, get settlements from my creditors to pay less than what I owe, and they instructed me not to make a payment in December and not to make payments going forward, and so it's been really scary because I rarely missed a payment in all my years of having a credit card. I may have missed one or two, but then I paid it just like a day after. So going on the second month of not making payment, it's really terrifying. It does not feel good. A couple of the creditors have been calling daily and my first payment for the settlement company came out January 2nd. Second, and I don't think they're doing anything until maybe the second or third month, and so it's just, it's very uncomfortable spot because yeah, I'm just, I'm very much, you know, routine, do the right thing, that kind of stuff. So this feels like I'm really like I'm a bad person, I guess, for not paying my bills. But I want to, I definitely want to. It'll happen at some point, but, yeah, my credit is just getting wrecked right now, so that's happening. That's Jeers. The Jeers is all financial related.
Speaker 1:My life is actually pretty great right about now. Like I said, been on leave since October, so if I do find a job, it's going to be very, very difficult to get back into. I have been loving the slow, late start mornings where I have gotten deeper in faith, and so the first thing in the morning I do is I get my cup of coffee and I sit down on the couch with my daily devotionals. I read that, I look at the scripture of the day in the YouVersion Bible app, and it's been really great to connect with God that way. And I call him God. You can call him whatever you'd like, but it's having that. That's what's been bringing me joy, I think, is committed faith and trust that it will be okay and if I continue to be guided to what he's calling me to do and I feel that that is life coaching and speaking then he will provide and he will take care and, like I said, it's terrifying because I don't have any sort of like regular income right now, but we are keeping the faith in leaning into his joy and, um, I might as well. Just maybe that's what the topic will be today is just kind of my testimony.
Speaker 1:So I grew up Mormon. I grew up Mormon, my family and I started attending the LDS church, I would say when I was like maybe five or so, like it was really early on and then we became an active about middle school, I think, and from there, like with my parents, divorce and everything, I became atheist, agnostic. I went back and forth like I was believing, you know, universe, karma, whatever, something maybe, was there maybe guardian angels or something, um, but then also not believing in anything like nothing's there. So I'd go back and forth. And then it was bizarre because I ended up attending a Quaker college for my master's degree and so they had like these little New Testament books mini versions lying around or they'd have scripture on their wall or, you know, they would pray before some meetings and this and that, and I'm like I feel so out of place here Am I going to be like smoked down or something? But that college was absolutely phenomenal. And now I regret that I wasn't more spiritual and religious back then, because I think I would have appreciated the campus a lot more.
Speaker 1:Anyways, I digress, it wasn't until I landed in the hospital December 2022. And I'd always joked like coming out of the hospital. I joked that that was my like come to Jesus moment in there and that, you know, that was the only presence, was like God being there in the hospital room with me and helping me figure out what I needed to do with my life, that I needed to continue living, and all this and that showing me who I needed to live for, that sort of thing. And it was just a joke, it was just. You know, people always say you have a come to Jesus moment and it wasn't until my dad sent me a text at the end of July 2023 and said hey, would you be interested in going to church with my stepmom and him? And they were doing this event. It was called At the Movies, if you know, life Church. They do this every summer and they jazz up the lobby to look incredible. They take well-known movies or sometimes even not well-known movies, and the pastor, craig Groeschel, pulls out messages and relates it to, like you know, the Bible and God and everything. And he my dad said that I think he would really enjoy the live music because, being a musician myself I play piano, I play violin, I love live music and he said, just, would you be able to? Would you want to go? I think I think you would really enjoy it. And I remember I got that text.
Speaker 1:I was sitting at my desk at work and my gut reaction was to respond no thanks, not for me. You know, like I had sworn off church. I had a lot of church hurt and religious trauma. Being a queer person myself, you know always seeing the how religions treat other people who are different from them. Rather than being inclusive, they're very exclusive. So there was a lot of like. You know, I had a lot of feelings, but then, before I responded, I said let's take a moment. We are trying to turn over a new leaf in our recovery.
Speaker 1:I had been through my life coaching, certification and really becoming more self-aware, wanting to pursue growth, wanting to pursue knowledge, wanting to just be more open and curious about things, and so I ended up texting back. I said you know what? Yeah, let's, let's go, let me do it. And from then, that like first Sunday, it was the last at the movie Sunday that they had in 2023. And it, like that message was everything I needed to hear as I was, you know, stepping into my coaching businesses and it was talking about, you know, having faith and staying committed to your purpose and your passion and doing the thing when it feels so scary.
Speaker 1:And I attended their sister's event in September. I started volunteering. I was so like hype about their baptism Sundays and I went to my first ever Bible group and I got really close to the people there and watched the message every Sunday Not, you know, still not believing but, as I said, you know, I kept hearing like this, this knock on the door, like God's knocking, and I was too afraid to answer and I was fighting, fighting, fighting. And my life group bless them. They were a group. They are a group because I still attend. They are a group of fabulous women who were so patient and understanding and compassionate in my journey to find answers and every question I asked. They didn't get scared, they didn't judge me, they didn't, you know, kick me out for, you know, like, how could you question this or whatever? And like some of them said that it helped them grow deeper in their faith to really, you know, kind of analyze and look at it and with all of that, I finally made the decision to be baptized April 7th of 2024.
Speaker 1:And going back to my you know joking of, I had my come to Jesus moment in the hospital. I absolutely now fully believe that he was there with me and that the peace I was eventually able to feel in that solitary confinement emergency room was the peace he was giving me. And finding life coaching was his way of putting me on the path to help others who were like me, who just felt overwhelmed in emotions and, you know, wanted to live but weren't sure how and didn't want to live anymore like this, but still wanted to live and just just helping others put that calling on my heart and, um, I am so thankful for my life, church, family and for growing deeper in faith. I am still healing, you know, some church wounds and things like that, but, um, it's just been such a blessing, especially in this time of upheaval, personally and within the world. There is truly nothing like God's peace. And I can't explain why I'm feeling joyful Because, again, I don't have an income right now. I cashed out my retirement. That feels scary, but I'm I fully believe that that's what he was guiding me to do and I had known for a while that I needed to leave my job. We had the cyber incident in 2022.
Speaker 1:And even before then I kind of completely lost faith and trust in upper management, just from things that I had learned or, you know, saw for myself, and that commitment never really came back to me, like I love my job and I love the people I worked with, but it felt at odds. You know, when you feel that difference in priority or whatever, and with my autistic sense of justice being very, very heightened, it felt really wrong and it felt at odds with me. But it was comfortable, right, and you stay in your comfort. So I was casually looking but I was like I'm not going to leave, this is comfortable, it's a steady paycheck, I know what I'm doing, it's comfortable, it's steady, it's routine. And not until this year did it kind of come to a head, really starting in September, when my body began to remember the trauma from two years ago with my grandpa and just with.
Speaker 1:You know all the things that had happened two years prior where I needed to step away and take that leave of absence and as that leave continued, I recognized that this was God's way of separating me, because I wasn't going to do it myself, and so this is the hard break that I needed, to be like, okay, you need all or nothing. Here's all or nothing. You're leaving this job and you're not going back. And I know some people don't understand it. Some people do, some people are very excited for me, some people are not very supportive, but it is what it is, it's what I needed and, um, he gives us what we need, not what we want, and, um, yeah, that's kind of my, my testimony in a nutshell.
Speaker 1:I didn't anticipate this first episode coming back in the new year to be about that, but hey, uh, he puts on your heart what you need to say, right? So, with that being said, I absolutely want to get back in the rhythm of recording these regularly and being present again with this. It feels weird holding this microphone. I'm actually physically holding the microphone this time. I don't just have it sitting on my desk and I'm using different audio software, so hopefully it will be better. I tested it and it sounded a lot clearer than Audacity that I was using, so hopefully those that will sound better to you as well.
Speaker 1:Again, very new to this. I think this is what our seventh episode. So I have lofty goals for this year, and that is to get you know some guests on and just geek out with you, talk about what's on my, my heart, talk about what's on my in my mind, in my head. Maybe you relate to it, um, maybe you're just like, oh my gosh, I, I don't want to listen to her anymore. I don't know. We're just having fun. This, this is this, is fun, right, like this is supposed to be for fun, and hopefully, hopefully, it would like resonate with somebody. You can relate to this or yeah, I don't know. So that's all I think I have for today. I'll stop it there, since this is already getting to be close to 20 minutes and I had only anticipated, maybe just like a little, hi, hello, I'm back, get ready for some more episodes. So I will end it there.
Speaker 1:I do have a free webinar coming up If you would like to attend. It's called who Are you Really Discovering and Embracing your Identity, and it's going to kind of be toe dipping into the coaching method and program that I did personally myself and going through my life coach certification and how it tremendously helped me in my recovery and just my journey for growth and curiosity and a better relationship with my emotions and myself. So I'm beyond excited and scared to do this. It will be January 20th at 2 pm Central Time. I will leave a link in the show notes if you would like to sign up In the meantime. I also offer one-on-one coaching. With this coaching program, I also offer six freestyle sessions for coaching and you can find all of that. I think I linked my website in the show notes too.
Speaker 1:I got to check all this crap. It's been a while. It's been a hot minute, so I don't even remember how we end these things or if we ever came up with a particular ending. Really need to do that. But until next time, stay safe, stay warm depending on where you are, because I'm in Kansas and it has been freezing cold the last few days. I have just been cooped up inside. So stay safe, stay warm. You are loved and I will catch you next time.
